how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
