i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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