I wish I could teleport
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
