Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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