My girlfriend figured out who you are.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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