And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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