I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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