so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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