i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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