"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
