theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
