the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
