He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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