i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
