ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Randomize
