You're completely useless in the revolution.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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