Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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