have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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