great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
