dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
