What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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