Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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