You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize