Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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