Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize