I didn't shave. On purpose
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
