i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Well I just put wine in my tea
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
