and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just saw a hot homeless man
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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