Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
me + whiskey = a bad person
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
