somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
