You're so nebulous sometimes
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
