Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
She tied me up with her honor cords...
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
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I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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