i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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