I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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