i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
