i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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