dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
