remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize