ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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