The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
