just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
