census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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