her vagine was all disorganized.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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