I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
