For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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