Only a mothe r could love this liver
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
