Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
