You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
