Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We just shotgunned beers for America
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
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