I seem to have left my pride at pride
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
My Sexting was not on an AP level
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
