You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
