Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
In America we eat man semen.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
