Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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